I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize