my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
