just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
