I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize