If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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