please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
