my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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