we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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