Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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