You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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