mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
