fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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