Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
