Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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