its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
