would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
