If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I skipped work to stalk him.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize