I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
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