She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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