She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize