I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
