you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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