mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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