why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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