I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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