Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
