In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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