note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
and i looked up. we had an audience...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
If I had your ass I would rule the world
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
