1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
