if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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