You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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