Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
