im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
