new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
