Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
