I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize