I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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