1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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