How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
