one two three fourrrrnication!
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
