the day after is always just damage control
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
