what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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