Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
