God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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