I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
