im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
