she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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