so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
