My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
