the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
