addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
