bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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