and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
