I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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