Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
