so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
