Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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