Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
