She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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