I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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