I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
