BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize