i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
