I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
