the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
