I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
