Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
