Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
