I forgot how hot balto sounded
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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