I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
my vag is so smooth its legendary
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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