Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The air was thick with penises
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize