Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
