Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
