Where is the hickey?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
