Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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