the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
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Do I have a choice?
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I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize