I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I didn't notice because vodka
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
