didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Semen is not good for contacts.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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