You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
